Dating defined!

 This week’s topic of discussion was dating. Nowadays, dating is so very different than what it was years ago. Individuals do not truly know what dating is anymore, and they are defining dating for themselves and for others in such a way that society has changed in it’s view on dating, and what dating might look like. I grew up in California, and growing up in California, and in the big city I saw Society for what it really looks like, and it affected the way that I understood dating! For example, when I was in high school, if you went on a bunch of dates with a bunch of different girls, you were considered a “player” or in total honesty, a “hoe”. This was confusing to me, because growing up in my church we were told to go on many dates with many different girls, and were told that this was a good thing. Steady dating was considered a bad thing in my church (at least in high school and before going on our missions), when in the outside world dating happened many times in my school. But the difference was that if you were dating in high school, or going on dates, this meant that the people were getting intimate with each other physically, much beyond a simple kiss. This was very different from the culture that I had growing up in my church, because of our standards. I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. And me being a member of Jesus Christ’s church we represent Him, and uphold standards because of this. This was very foreign. Dating in my church people do not get intimate with each other before marriage, so by the standards of my high school in california, when people were dating in my church, they were not really dating. Confusing right? Which one is correct? Or are they both wrong? This is a hectic time and honestly it is just getting more and more confusing! Our class defined dating as having a planned activity for having a good time with the possibility of turning into a relationship. The process of dating contains four steps, those being dating, which then leads to courtship, which leads to a more serious engagement, and then eventually to the biggest part of all, marriage. While going through the  dating process is important to define the relationship. This helps both parties understand where they are in the relationship, and this eases the confusion around much of today’s labels. The dating process is something that can be an “assortative” process, which means that dating is a filtering process to see what you do or do not like, figuring out what works in relationships. This type of dating is usually frequent, and the dates you are going on are usually with different people. Something that I thought was interesting from class was that an apostle, Elder Oaks, said “You should never stop dating until you are seriously committed to marriage with that person”. This is interesting because it tells us that even though we are going through the dating process, to ultimately get to marriage, Elder Oaks says that we should continue dating other people until we get to that final point of the process, which is marriage. Now let us actually break down, and define a date for what it really should be! According to my professor Brother Williams, a date is three things: Planned, paid for, and paired off. Planned meaning that the date that you are going on has purpose, it is not just casual hanging out (but more on that in a bit). A date is paid for, meaning that there are resources being put into the date to make it happen, either it costs money, or needs certain items for the date to work (like a soccer ball if the date is playing soccer together). And lastly, the date needs to be paired off. This is the part of practicing commitment with one another, as well as making it a date, not a “hang out session”. These are all of the factors that come into play when it comes to dating. Dating has a purpose, and that ultimate purpose is marriage. If the date does not follow the three “P’s”, then it is probably lacking in some sort of purpose. That is why casually hanging out is not something that is that good, because it lacks a purpose, which ultimately harms the relationship in the future. Dating has many steps and things that need to be understood about it, and now you know what they are!